Hakuk Balev, Room 41
Initial Impressions: Hakuk Balev means “inscribed in the heart” and indeed the two showers I took here will remain with me forever. Upon walking into the bathroom, I noticed it was a shoilet. I also noticed it was disgusting. The bathroom was very small and it was evident someone spent a great deal of time making it as useless as possible. There was a complete lack of hooks or shelves. Even the top of the toilet tank—usually a safe bet—was angled to keep from being useful. Alas, this was not my first time at the rodeo:
Looking skyward to the heavens, I noticed a chain dangling from the ceiling:
While useless, it served as a sort of Yad and Shem to a previous to a previous curtain rod. I paused in quiet reflection at the thought of that shower and what had caused its untimely end. Finally, the room included a handy wall toaster, turning an everyday shoilet into a one-of-a-kind shoitchen. If they could find a place to put the bed, you’d never have to leave.
The Experience: Pretty much what you would expect. Everything got wet. The floor, the toilet, the sink, the stack of toilet paper that was practically dry from the previous guest. I soon realized that the wall toaster was there as a (poor) substitute for hot water. The shampoo/conditioner/soap/personal lubricant left an oily residue on my hair and face.
It rained later that night and I came home to the room to see this directly outside the door:
There was a hole in the gutter—no doubt drilled by the staff—directly in front of the room. It was pretty much impossible to enter the room without getting wet. The temperature of this “green” shower was comparable to the one inside, but the pressure was somewhat improved.
Flooding: Flooded, with a vengeance.
